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Getting Real

INCONSOLABLE FEELINGS – HAPPY??? BIRTHDAY By Leonard D. Orr

Leonard OrrYesterday, Saturday, was my birthday. It was also the first day of a 9 Day Training in the outback of Australia – the desert part – land of the kangaroos, parrots, and iguanas, etc. We had our training meeting in the shade under a big tree in the sandy dry creek bed of a river. It was a perfect place. The sand is over a foot deep.

In the middle of the meeting, I fell down in the sand. Some people think I passed out. I may have. But only for a few seconds. I was disoriented when I stood back up and my wife Elvi and a friend assisted me back to my room, after I finished the meeting. My friends were worried about me. They called it heat stroke. It may have been, because I was sweating profusely, but it feels more like spontaneous regression to my birth. I never had a heat stroke before, but I have had hypothermia as a result of swimming in icy water in the winter time, it feels similar. I feel overwhelmed with anxiety all over my body, radiating out from my center, the navel area. It feels like they just cut the umbilical cord and I am terrified and long for the loving touch of a woman - my mother, but she was not available at my birth. It feels like my mother was not available and the nurses didn't know what to do.

There is pain in my center, a nonspecific pain that seems to spread throughout my whole body, from head to toe. Moving or not moving doesn't help. Even breathing connectedly doesn't seem to help. The feelings are inconsolable. I am so disoriented and absorbed by these inconsolable feelings that I am totally nonfunctional. It goes on for two to three days. I am lucky that Sunday is our silence, fasting, and fire day in the training schedule, so I don't have to perform. I can let myself heal. My 9 Day Training often works for me also. Actually, it always works for me. I can't think of anything that will help this overwhelming inconsolable feeling, except the loving touch of a woman - my wife Elvi. Drinking water doesn't appeal to me, food doesn't appeal to me, not even perfect raw chocolate. I think the best kind was invented here in Australia. Luckily, Elvi was available and gave me some very appropriate stroking and loving. Elvi has a very motherly touch. I am non-functional all day Saturday and Sunday.

Even my favorite and most powerful mantras don't appeal to me, it is difficult for me to remember them, and they don't seem to work. I can't feel anything except this horrible anxiety. The emotional mud of this birth memory is completely dominating me. I have learned from being in this situation many times before, that it is best not to fight it, just surrender to the feelings and keep breathing until they pass. In addition to the anxiety, I feel itching all over. I have scratched my body all over. Nothing worked to cure the problems I was feeling the first day of this regression, nor the second, except the temporary relief I received from Elvi's loving stroking. But the third day, I began to return to normal – my normal productivity, sanity and happiness – almost. On Monday, at my training meeting I shared my experience with my group of trainees, and this always assists in moving the energy. I also enjoyed giving the seminar which I planned for the morning. Sharing, telling the whole truth to other people, is a very powerful discipline – the power of spiritual community, which is the sixth principle of the Yoga of Eternal Life.

For the first 24 and more hours, I was living with this inconsolable feeling. It totally occupied my attention. I couldn't think of anything else, except noticing how this feeling took over. At times, my body itched here and there - my head, my leg, my chin, my neck, my arms, my feet, my thighs, not all at once, but the itches kept requiring attention, one after another.

Seems like vernex memories. (Editor's note; vernex is the wax-like coating on the skin of newborn babies, serving to moisturize the skin, facilitate passage through the birth canal, and conserve heat and protect the newborn's delicate skin from environmental stresses).

I couldn't concentrate on anything but getting rid of these feelings and managing them, until they were gone. And nothing worked. I could do nothing but endure them.

People often have this inconsolable feeling in the middle of a rebirthing session. Sometimes, it takes the form of inconsolable sadness. I have seen it often. But it usually disappears in less than ten minutes, or an hour, at most. For me, the feeling continues for hours. It is still with me today – 24 hours later, Sunday, when I am typing this text, and also spills over into Monday – two and a half days.

The idea of moving doesn't feel good, the idea of not moving doesn't feel good. Nothing appeals to me. I feel trapped. I feel like a newborn, helpless. I just have to endure these totally unacceptable and uncomfortable FEELINGS. I am imprisoned in emotional mud – which is just a body memory, I know objectively, but it has taken over at least temporarily and this realization doesn't help at all.

Verbalizing how I feel helps a little, but the uncomfortable feelings are still there. It just temporarily gets me out of my body and into my mind. Luckily, Elvi spent some time with me most of the day on Saturday, and last night – Sunday. Her stroking my body in certain places brought temporary relief – it was amazingly helpful. I desired to be picked up and held in her arms and loved. This is all I could think of. Being held and touched by a loving woman and being able to touch her, not sexually in any way, just touch, and to feel the loving presence. The best place she worked on was my ankles. From the beginning of the Rebirthing Movement, I have had trouble in my ankles. People have massaged them, sat on them, stood on them. I was a breach birth, this obviously has something to do with my ankle problem. I was pulled out of my mother's womb by my ankles. When Elvi was squeezing my ankles, I felt some relief.

The pain is still extending from my navel area – my solar plexus. The best way I can describe it, is anxiety – fear that something terrible happened to me or is about to happen. I feel this in my middle and in my head and all over down to my toes. The anxiety feels worse than whatever might happen. The anxiety feels worse than death. It is inconsolable.

The only other thing that gave me a little relief was excretory movements. I have a fantastically healthy excretory system. It is amazing how the body can heal the soul or mind. I felt that each number 1 and each number 2 moved the negative energy a little.

When I went for my evening bath, on Saturday, it helped a little, and so did my morning bath on Sunday, but I was still bothered by these feeling during the baths. I was miserable in the bathtub. It was an amazing feeling of hopelessness, because I have healed hundreds and thousands of things while breathing in the bath. Even my favorite healing method was not working. It even seemed difficult to breathe. The itching and scratching also continued during my baths.

Now is after my morning bath on Sunday and I am sitting here typing with this terrible feeling in my gut. It feels like there is nothing I can do to get rid of the feeling. I will just have to endure it, until God removes it, but it feels like God has no interest in removing it. I just have to wait until Spirit removes it automatically and I have no way to facilitate this. I feel that if Elvi comes out of her bath and spends time with me and touches my body in the right way, it will help. Waiting for this feels like forever. I can do nothing but wait.

When I analyze the fear, it feels like I didn't cause all the traumatic events of my birth and at the time I didn't have an understanding that I had just been born. I just felt that something terrible happened to me and since I didn't know what it was, it might happen again. I definitely feel out of control and unsafe. I am definitely into this memory and it is very powerful. It is completely dominating me – my body feelings, my mind, and my time. This anxiety and fear some people seem to live with their whole lives with, and the only way they think they can get rid of this fear is to die, living with these feelings of uncertainty and fear is worse than death. Subjective misery causes most people to leave their bodies.

But – surprise! Death doesn't solve the problem and we end up in the womb again, going through the whole traumatic birth process again. When we look at life from this perspective, Rebirthing Breathwork is the most important work in the world. Jesus said, "Without rebirth of water and the Breath, it is not possible to enter the Kingdom of God." The church teaches that birth trauma – original sin is the cause of death. How many immortals do you know?

The early rebirthers called me the birth trauma king. Here, I am re-experiencing my birth again. The only reason we re-experience something is because we haven't released the memory completely. I have relived contractions, relived learning to breathe air to live, relived dry mouth trauma, relived the cutting of the cord and the feeling of deprivation of oxygen to the brain, relived so many aspects of my womb life and birth and early infancy. Why this memory now? I don't have an answer. I don't know why, but it happened. It feels like a spiritual accident, just like my birth. Here I am folks, I am still here.

A question is, what triggered this fear? Was it watching the birth video? Was it getting super-energized in Herakhan? Was it the fact that for a month in Oz, (Australia), I have been staying with friends who have good jacuzzis? There seems to be something about moving water that stimulates birth memories, and stimulates healing on many levels. The moving warm water in the bath can be very powerful. Was it the fact that it was the first day of a 9 day training, when I am processing the energy of the trainees, who haven't done as much healing of their birth trauma as I have? They get to feel more of it when they read this. Was it the power of the land, or the quality of the under-river water that we are using in this center?

I suffered with this memory for 3 days, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Today is Tuesday. I feel much better. Last night, I slept with a nice fire, laying next to a fireplace with also several candles on the other side. I woke up feeling almost normal again. After soaking in the bath and breathing through my snorkel, which I do usually twice per day, I felt quite good. These are the resources that are available at this new spiritual purification center.

Now, is Tuesday evening, and I have had a normal productive day. This afternoon, before my bath, I went into the dry river bed here and had a nice fire. The quality of the sticks in the river bed makes such good flames that if feels like I lose an inch off my waistline in less than a half hour. It healed stuff and felt amazing. Fire is called the Savior in some Scriptures. But we can only learn the secrets of fire from the fire itself. Fire can heal so many things. It cleans and balances our Energy Body. I especially get wonderful results while being with fire for 20 or 30 minutes before my afternoon or evening bath.

I just finished my bath and feel like finishing this story of my latest rebirth. I feel very happy and peaceful which is my habitual state. Today, I felt like being productive, but for the last three days, the thought of doing anything made me feel terrible. Just the thought of opening my computer or talking to anyone made me curl up into the fetal position. I did participate in my training on Monday, but it took a lot of concentration. Today, Tuesday, everything was flowing.

All day Saturday and Sunday, I was in the fetal position most of the time, even bathing didn't dent the inconsolable anxiety feeling and fear, I just had to endure them. And I definitely didn't have the motivation or energy to go to the river bed and build a fire, though I knew it would help. I just couldn't break out of that state to do anything, but lie there and endure the discomfort. I was trapped in my birth trauma memories. It definitely could be called an anxiety attack. I feel for the people who have these feelings all the time, for years or decades and do not have the wonderful tools that rebirthing gives to people to heal themselves, like I am doing. Using medical drugs is one of the greatest tragedies of our civilization.

Three days of birth memories is a small price to pay for the goodness I feel tonight.

Actually, Sunday, after my bath did give me enough motivation to write the first few lines of this story. I knew that if I wrote about it, my mind would start the releasing process. My anxiety is energy blocked by thought; if I change the thought, the feelings will change. Memories are just energy trapped by thought, so I was motivated to begin changing my mind frames on the memories. I couldn't do much on Sunday, and Monday I didn't feel like opening my computer., but today, Tuesday, I felt so productive that I almost caught up with my emails. But while I was in that memory of birth, even the thought of opening the Happy Birthday greetings from good friends made me feel hopelessness and dread. I didn't feel like doing anything. I was overwhelmed with too much already. Relaxing was a full time job. Now I can send them this birthday story.

Well, I am glad and thankful to feel good again, to let that memory go and continue to enjoy the goodness of life and love. I feel clearer today, so that spontaneous regression from Saturday until now was a birthday present from Babaji - God. It was a healing present from Spirit. Now I am back in bliss. True bliss has no reason. We can feel good for no good reason. I have my fireplace loaded with good firewood, so I can look forward to an interesting night.

Journaling my thoughts and feelings is one of my favorite techniques of healing. Now I feel like it and it is working.

Here is an interesting detail. My training that I am conducting here in Australia is at the Australian Leonard Orr Spiritual Purification Center. The creators of this center, Pauline and Peter have a beautiful sign made to put up on the center on my birthday, but my regression canceled that celebration. We still have lots of time to do it before I leave the center. (Editor's note; the sign was put up with Leonard and the training group present, on Thursday).

I think this 9 Day Training is the first official training of this center. Is the center rebirthing me or am I rebirthing the center? Whatever, I am now willing to celebrate.

The first 24 hours I was here, Thursday to Friday I lost an inch off my waistline. The fire and fasting day, Sunday, I lost another inch, so my body got back in top form by Monday, but the clearing of the birth memory took a few days. Healing the emotional mind is sometimes more difficult than healing the body. It is usually the best and most efficient way to heal the physical body. If we do it aggressively enough, our body can be always healthy. And it is also ok to take a vacation from self-improvement.

Another benefit of healing our birth trauma is that we heal urgency consciousness. When we unravel the birth-death cycle, we have no more time shortage, we have forever to enjoy life and accomplish things. Pleasure, satisfaction, bliss, peace, and good feelings become natural and normal. And we have the Energy to accomplish things. When we heal the birth-trauma and death urge, we have time to heal everything else.

Mastering the mind and body is very practical.

It may not have been a happy birthday, but the birth trauma releases are making me very happy today, tomorrow and perhaps forever.

I hope you do your own rebirth the easy way and experience total liberation in this lifetime. There is nothing like ten high quality energy cycles with a good rebirther. There is no substitute for love, gentleness, patience, intuition, and experience in a high quality rebirther. My original definition of rebirthing was unraveling the birth-death cycle. The later one was conscious energy breathing.

Today is Wednesday. Sleeping with the fire last night was great. My inconsolable feelings from birth were gone, but I seemed to have concern about past life memories when I awoke a few times during the night. I almost felt an eagerness to get into them. After surviving my birth trauma, I feel fearless. During my baths today, I often still felt the itching everywhere and had to scratch, but it was not unpleasurable – it was quite pleasurable, especially the scratching part. I felt peace all day, and high energy.

In our training meeting today, we were interrupted by screeching parrots. The beautiful white big parrots here, by the center, are huge. There are many sizes and colors. About six of them had teamed up and were screeching at an iguana, they were driving him away, so he wouldn't climb their tree and eat their eggs. It was amazing to watch. The iguana was resentful about being herded, by he didn't attack the birds, nor did the birds attack the iguana, they just kept herding him along, away from their trees.

I am wondering... A few weeks ago, I watched a video of a breach birth. It was shocking to me. I wonder if this had something to do with the timing of this birth regression. I remembered and was told by family members in the 70's that I was a breach birth. I had cleared so many memories through the past four decades, this rebirthing experience was a surprise. I had never watched such a powerful graphic breach birth before, so this may have assisted in this regression. I often recommend to people who would like to have memories of their own birth, that they watch birth videos until they see their own birth. It worked for me again.

When I gave rebirthing sessions to one of my nephews in his twenties, we both noticed that he had almost exactly the same traumatic birth that I had. This nephew died in a freak motorcycle accident while teaching his girlfriend how to drive the motorcycle, when living at the training center in Sierraville. Being killed in this accident seemed impossible to the county sheriff. They were moving at a very slow speed and ran off the road. His death was like a repetition of his birth. His violent father, his girlfriend's attitudes and death urge, and some of his life experiences had something to do with his death as well. I was in India at the time, at Babaji's ashram. Babaji sent someone to get me, urgently. When I arrived to His Presence, He just said to me, "No, it is too late." I had no idea what He was talking about, until I got back to Europe, got the news from home and realized that the moment He called me was the moment of my nephews' accident.

Teaching rebirthing breathwork and childbirth education is such a rewarding profession. The professionals who take ten people through ten sessions constantly, complete about 50 clients per year. The rebirthers who do this year after year, tend to become among the greatest healers in the world. The ones who do this, are the most successful and beautiful people I know. They become so competent as people, everyone loves to be around them. After completing ten sessions with a hundred people or more and building successful, high quality relationships that this involves, these rebirthers can double their incomes any time they like. They have lots of support for trainings, workshops, lectures, and whatever events they choose to create. They usually provide weekly support groups for their clients and one year seminars. As a result, they have an abundance of rich relationships. Their lives tend to be rich and rewarding, full of deep satisfaction.

Doing spiritual work is an amazing career. Taking 50 people through ten high quality sessions per year creates amazing success. In the process, we also share all the wonderful ideas we know that work for people. When we do this, Eternal Life works for us. We just have to relax and receive the love. Loving service comes back to us every day in so many ways. Every day is filled with wonderful surprises.

We are changing the world, but it is still too slowly. We can use a million more high quality rebirthers. Would you like to be one? Are you one already? Go for those ten appointments each week and build a high quality relationship with each client. Be responsible for giving each of them the gift of the Breath of Life.

My three day rebirthing experience is just another part of the process. Thanks for reading about it. My mind and body are a little lighter. Writing about it is part of the healing process. It is now Thursday, a week after my intense regression. I feel fabulous, but I still feel a vague energy concentration in my body, especially when I am in the bath, breathing. There is something there still to heal and release. What I am doing is working.

Pauline and Peter have created a wonderful center. They paid off the land before starting to build. They have created an amazingly beautiful and functional center for trainings and retreats in spiritual purification in Australia. We now have a permanent center here for young immortals.

They have accomplished an amazing work, emerging this center out of the desert wilderness in just six months. The bathrooms are beautiful with attractive art decorations. The tubs and showers work great. There is lots of natural light. I have mentioned the fireplace that I sleep with, every night I am here. There are bedrooms. There are many other fireplaces inside and out. They can have an abundance of fires even during government fire-bans. The river bed that I have been using before my afternoon baths is a fire purification paradise, with perfect wood for burning in abundance all over the place – the kind that really works.

Elvi and I are definitely leaving in better shape than we came. This seems to be all that we have to do to be young immortals - to die less and to live more. I like the term young immortals. It means that we are not over 300 years in the same body. Being young means that we can make mistakes, have fun, and don't have to take ourselves too seriously. However, after our 300th birthday, we can still have more fun and be even better able to enjoy it.

Now, all of you all over the world have this news of this new center that you can use, benefit from, and we can now support Pauline and Peter in all the ways that we can, to assist them in developing it.

Truth, Simplicity, and Love,
Leonard D. Orr

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About the Author Leonard D. Orr

Leonard D. Orr
Leonard D. Orr

Leonard Orr is the discoverer and founder of the worldwide Rebirthing Breathwork movement. As a result of spontaneous rebirthing experiences, from 1962 to 1975, he discovered and developed the technique known as 'connected breathing', where the inhale and exhale are merged with no pause in between. This is the natural breathing rhythm of babies, animals, and most young children. This technique is used today in hundreds of various forms of breathing styles.

Leonard was spiritually enlightened in 1960, unraveled the death urge he learned from his family tradition in 1967, and had numberless spontaneous birth, prenatal and infancy memories. Leonard sometimes says that his healing and personal evolution was caused by spiritual accidents in the bathtub.

Rebirthing Breathwork, as taught by Leonard Orr, is the original form, which is being practiced widely today by thousands of professional Breathworkers. It is estimated that more than 10 million people around the globe have experienced the healing power of Rebirthing Breathwork as a result of receiving at least 10 high quality individual completed energy cycles with a high quality Rebirther.

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